YAOI IS CONTAGIOUS!
by Glassed Loner
Summary: In Hetamist Academy, life as a Student Council member 'might' not be a boring job after all.../"A race?" "Yes, and whoever wins, keeps the camera."/"So are you in or not?" "I'm in."/"Hey pipsqueak! Count me in too!"/"No one cares about you, bastard!"/..well, until something 'unusual' happens, that is.../First APH/FMAB fic, sorry for the grammar errors.


**AN: Yes! I **_**finally**_** made a Hetalia fic! (More or less…) This may contain too many OCs, onto the reading!**

* * *

"You're out numbered, Edward, Mustang." Elizabeta smirked.

"Even your beloved brother and friends are on _our_ **(AN: Cue dramatic tension!)** side."

"No…way…" They mouthed.

"YOU TOO SHITOICHI?!" The ponytail haired girl shrugged.

"Takeru's _yaoi_ addict has affected us since the seventh grade. Don't ask."

Then Edward looked at his little brother.

"I'm not surprised if Winry's into those. But _really_ Al?"

The dirty golden haired boy smiled weakly. "Sorry Brother."

"When you went to that convention without me, I went to Winry and Mei's dorm to read _some_ of their manga collection."

"Hawkeye…" Roy mouthed to Riza.

"Their dorm is next to me," she pointed to Elizabeta and Yekaterina. "So they affected me, too."

Edward and Roy, both are having a mental melt-down, kneeled to the concrete floor and shouted.

"THE WORLD IS ENDING!" and, "YAOI IS CONTAGIOUS!" **(AN: HA! They just said the title!)**

While clutching their hair and acted like a couple of damsels in distress.

* * *

"**YAOI IS CONTAGIOUS!"**

**Hetalia © Hedikazu Himaruya**

**Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood © Hiromu Arakawa**

"**YAOI IS CONTAGIOUS!" © Maruki Shitoichi**

**OCs © Not mine. I only own Maru, Natsumi, and Takeru**

**Warning(s): | AU | OOC | OCs | Academy setting | Yaoi mentioning | **_**Slight**_** straight pairing bashing | Typo(s) | Human names for the nations | Grammar typo(s) (since English is NOT my first language) | Etc… |**

* * *

_**Earlier this morning…**_

New York City's weather was warm, and sunny **(AN: **_**Too**_** sunny I might add)**, but in the most prestigious academy in the world **(AN: Not **_**really**_**)**, **Hetamist Academy (1)**, the weather was _not _so _awesome_ today.

**=o0o=**

"**Nesia (2)**, how many times I told you to _not_ mind your own business, on our Student Council meeting." The Briton, Arthur Kirkland, massaged his temples. While the other, one of the Indonesian in the room, **Nesia** **Puspa Bahari (2)**, was still re-reading one of her manga collection.

"Oh just relax, Arthur." The girl waved her hand, not taking her eyes off the manga, to the British man. "It's not like you haven't seen me do this in a while."

_That was I was afraid of._ Arthur sighed.

_I missed the good old days, of peace, without any interruptions when I was doing a meeting._

"-thur?"

"Arthur!"

"P-pardon?"

"You were spacing out. _Again_." Nesia deadpanned, continuing reading her manga.

Arthur sighed once more.

"Why can't you be more like your twin brother, **Garuda (3)**, Nesia?" Nesia pouted, lowering down her manga a bit.

"I'm capable of being my self, thank you."

"And _why_ would I act like him? No offence _**abang **_**(4)**, I really respect you, I do. We may be twins, but we shouldn't act alike, right?"

The Indonesian boy, **Garuda Wisnu Kencana (3)**, agreed. "I agree with Nesia. We're just like Matthew and Alfred here. They are twins, but they acted differently."

"Yea!" The American, Alfred F. Jones, replied, munching a couple of McDonald's cheese Burgers. "Me n' Matthew are like, Earth n' Oil, Iggy!"

"It's 'Water and Oil', you twat!" Arthur snapped.

"And it's _Arthur_, not _Iggy_!" He hissed.

"Awe… But I like calling you Iggy~!" Alfred whined, puffing his cheeks into a ball in the process. **(AN: More or less…)**

"Could we move on to the _so-called-not-AWESOME-by-someone-coughGilbertcough_ meeting? An Amestrian boy, Edward Eric, asked politely. **(AN: SINCE WHEN!?)**

"At least someone here wants to do a meeting." The German boy, Ludwig Beilshmidt, stated, rolling his eyes. Then suddenly stared at Edward. "You're one of the members of the Student Council, Elric?"

"Naw, Mustang sent me here to replace him for a while." Edward replied casually.

"And what are his reasons to not to show up, exactly?" The blonde haired teen asked.

Edward pondered. "I think it was something about, Hawkeye, Francis, flirting, and date, or something."

"Typical Francis, I might say. Always goes for the impossible." An American-Japanese girl, Maruki Shitoichi, giggled suddenly.

"Good _Gate_ woman! You almost scare the shit outta me!" Edward growled to the brown haired girl, who was _obviously_ smirking.

"Sorry Eddie~" She chirped (Edward flinched at the nickname). "I was barely asleep last night. Due to the test today and the _yucky_ images of Natsumi and Takeru makin' out session from last night still haunts me." She mentally rolled her eyes, and shuddered.

"N' my mind is _still_ half-asleep, so it's _still_ not workin' fully properly."

"Whatever." The golden haired boy rolled his eyes, as the girl pulled out a chair and sat next to him.

"Mornin' Artie~!" Maruki greeted the pale blond haired teen (which he flinched at _another_ ridiculous nickname by one of his _men_).

"Good morning to you too, Shitoichi." Arthur smiled, but if you look closer you can see it twitching at the end. He had been restraining him self to pinch the girl's ear. But remembered, that the girl is an international karate black-belt champion, he didn't want to risk being a punching bag for the rest of his teen years.

_It's better to shout the Bloody Hell at the frog, than to annoy her_. Arthur thought with fear.

"May I ask, where is Hatsumoto?" He asked.

"We cannot start the meeting if all of the members are not present."

"Did you call me?" An Indonesian-Japanese boy, Takeru Hatsumoto, asked suddenly. As he entered the room.

Maruki blinked. "Well, speak of the Devil~" She giggled. As the teen sat next to her.

"Nice goin' Iggy! Now ya can summon people, when ya say their name!" Alfred proclaimed.

"I can't you twat." Arthur twitched his right eye. "It's just a coincidence."

"Any-ho, has anyone seen Francis, Gilbert, Antonio, Feliciano, Matthew, **Claus (5)**, and Roderich? I thought I have made them clearly come to this meeting yesterday."

"Nope." Takeru replied.

"If you're talking about Claus," Nesia said. "He just text me, that he will be late due to the exam he's going to have today."

"I see…"

"And Arthur, Francis is trying to _flirt_ with Hawkeye, remember? So that is why Elric is replacing Mustang for the day." Ludwig reminded the Briton.

"Right. And how about your brother, Ludwig?"

The German sighed. "_Bruder_ went to McDonald's with Antonio today, and _would_ be back at 12." Getting up. "If you excuse me, I'm going to get a drink out side." And left the room.

"What!? That ain't fair! I wanna come too!" Alfred whined.

"_**Boku mo! (6)**_" Maruki exclaimed.

"Come Alfie! We shall drag them back, and punish them for NOT taking us with them!" She proclaimed, as she marched out from the room.

"Aye-aye, Captain'!" Alfred followed her from behind.

"Those two," Arthur sighed. "No wonder they matched, they are BOTH hyper and annoying at the same time."

"But I wonder why they aren't dating each other, Arthur." A British-Japanese girl, Natsumi Kagame, stated.

"Natsumi? What are you doing here?"

"Replacing Riza today, of course." She replied, sitting next to Nesia.

"Oh." He replied, and then realized something.

Turning his head, looking at Edward. "Where are Alfred and Shitoichi?"

"They went out, remember?"

Eyes widen, Arthur ran out and shouted.

"GET BACK IN HERE YOU TWATS!"

**=o0o=**

"Hey Ivan, have you seen Matthew, by any chance?" Nesia asked the Russian boy, Ivan Braginski, who nodded.

"He's sitting next to Garuda, da." **(AN: Hey, that rhymes! Well, sorta…)**

"Really?" She looked at the fading person beside her brother. "Sorry Matthew, I didn't noticed you were there." She apologized.

"It's okay…" A faint response from the Canadian, Matthew Williams, while hugging his bear, Kumajirou.

"Who are you?" It asked.

"I'm Matthew…"

**=o0o=**

"Hmm?" Ludwig looked around when he came back. "Where is Arthur?"

"I'm guessing, he went out to get those two hyper and annoying pair." Edward replied, getting up from his seat.

"I'll go after him." He opened the door-

_BAM_

-only to be knocked over by the person on the other side of the door. And both were atop at each other.

Everyone looked at the incident, only to be answered by a fan-girl squeal from-

"Kyaa! _Yaoi_ alert!"

-Nesia…

"Quick Kiku! Took some pictures while they're still in _that_ position!"

…and Elizabeta…

"Oh _God_, I think I'm going to have a nosebleed from seeing this."

…did I mention Yekaterina too?

"What the-?" Edward's eyes opened slightly, regaining his conscious, he look at his _current_ position.

Let's just say, he's on the bottom (meaning his back laying on the white marble floor), while the other, or boy (since the three _Fujoushi_ (that's what Kiku called them) was squealing in delight), was on top of him. Looking back at him.

_Wait-looking back at me?_ Edward thought.

Then realized, the boy was his brother. His _younger_ brother, Alphonse Elric.

"Finally we'll have more of Elrincest photos!"

_SNAP_

"_Sumimasen Edowādo-san, Arufonsu-san._"

_SNAP_

"Our club's budget will be saved because of those two!"

_SNAP_

Regain _some_ of his senses, Edward jumped and blushed slightly. While helping Alphonse up on his feet.

Glaring at Nesia, the Hungarian girl, Elizabeta Hēdervāry, the Ukrainian girl, Yekaterina Braginskaya, and the Japanese boy, Kiku Honda, who are _obviously_ the members of **Fujoudanshi (7)**, a club that specialized in making anything related to _yaoi_ or _yuuri_, and getting _unbelievable_ _yaoi_ photos around the school, or outside of the school's boundaries.

"Give. Me. _That_. Damn. Camera. Honda." He gave the _poor_ Japanese boy a death glare, motioning his hand in front of him.

"_De-demo,_ _Edowādo-san…_" Kiku squeaked. Boy, if looks can kill, Edward would be a serial killer by now.

"Hand. It. Over." His words were final. And Kiku was about to give it to the Amestrian boy, when the door suddenly opened widely, and harshly.

Revealing a pissed Maruki, a munching a hamburger in delight Alfred, an amused Arthur, and a couple of unconscious Spaniard, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, and **Prussian (8)**, Gilbert Beilshmidt, carried in Maruki's _tight_ grip.

"We're back, peeps!" The American exclaimed, taking another bite of his McDonald's hamburgers.

Raising an eyebrow, Takeru asked. "What happened to those two?" Pointing at the Prussian and the Spaniard.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know." The sandy blond haired teen chuckled.

"Damn those two." The brunette muttered. Dropping the two teens on the floor.

"Oww, _that_ was _not awesome_, Maru." The silver haired teen growled.

"_**Estoy de acuerdo, y mi cabeza está un poco herido en este momento debido a que**_**…**_** (9)**_" The brown haired boy agreed.

"Dude, speak in English." Alfred's face deadpanned.

"_Lo siento mi amigo, Alfred._ I forgot." Antonio chuckled sheepishly.

Still smirking, Arthur told the girl to calm down.

"Hold your horses, Shitoichi. You could punish them later, _after_ the meeting." The girl shrugged.

"You _could_ punish Francis, now, however…" Blue orbs sparkled at the Briton's suggestion.

Without wasting another second, she turned her heels, and zoomed to the door. "I'll be _riiiiight_ back." With a grin plastered on her face.

Natsumi's face carved a soft smile. "Nice work, Arthur. Her mood went back to normal, didn't it?"

Arthur nodded. "Yes, and I feel _sad_ about the frog right now." He admitted, smirking.

"_Madamoiselle Maru_, you are being not polite to me!" A French boy, Francis Bonnefoy's, voice demanded from the outside of the room.

"As Shitoichi would say, 'speak of the Devil~'" Arthur smirked.

"Well, _Monsieur Francis_, Artie gave me an _order_ to punish you, and drag you to the _oh-so-obviously_ meeting." Maruki's voice snorted, and followed by a _smacked_ sound.

"Aye! _Je comprends, madamoiselle Maru!_" Francis whimpered.

"Oh, you're _such_ a crybaby, _monsieur Francis._" She teased.

"_**Ne me deranger pas, madamoiselle Maru! (10)**_"

"Speak in _English_, dude."

"_**Je ne parle pas l'Anglais, mon ami. (11)**_"

"Okay, you're getting on my nerves. Let's go _pervy_."

"_Laisse-moi aller, Maru!_" As the door opened, revealing a struggling Francis and a grinning Maruki.

"We're back, Artie~" As Arthur mouthed a _thank you_.

"_God_, you work faster than me plus Alfred combined, Maru." Takeru commented, amazed.

The girl grinned, dropping the French boy on the floor. "Well, what can I say? I'm a hard worker, aren't I~?" Then remembered something.

"Oh, and by the way, I found Feli next to the juice dispenser down the hall. Whimpering or something."

"_Ve, aiutami, Ludwig!_" The Italian, Feliciano Vargas, whimpered. Clenching the hem of the girl's skirt.

Ludwig sighed, covering his face with his right palm. "_**Was ist es dismal, Feliciano? (13)**_"

Feliciano sniffled. "Wh-when I was making some pasta for _fratello Lovi_, I saw a _preetttty_ butterfly flying through the window. I wanted to catch it, so I went out. By the time I went back, _fratello_ yelled at me for leaving it and the pasta was ruined, ve…"

Everyone in the room (except Ivan, Kiku, and Feliciano) sweats dropped.

_Why did I even put Feliciano in the Student Council in the first place again?_ The Briton slightly, _and_ mentally, cursed him self, as he sighed. Covering his face with his left palm.

Edward, remembered something, suddenly glared at Kiku, motioning his hand for the camera the Japanese boy was holding.

"_Honda_," Kiku jumped, and looked at the Amestrian. "_H-hai'?_"

"Give me the camera." Glaring at the boy. "_Now._" Kiku nodded, while giving the camera slowly to the golden haired boy's hand.

Nesia noticed it. And stood in front of Kiku, blocking the bobbed haired boy's hands.

Gesturing her hand to the Amestrian boy, she scolded the boy. "Nu-uh, Edward. You can't do that, we _need_ those photos for _our_ club."

Edward rolled his eyes. "_Club_ my ass." "Brother! Language!" Alphonse protested.

"We _really_ need them, Edward. It didn't break _any_ law, did it? I think not." Nesia puffed her cheeks.

"Uh, folks. We're _going_ to have a meeting here…" Arthur cuts in.

"I don't care if you _need_ them, Bahari!" Edward snapped. "I just DON'T want ANYONE to see it, and think I _really_ have a _thing_ with my _little_ brother!" A slight blush shading his cheeks.

"Then how about a race for the camera?"

All heads turned towards the smirking Hungarian.

"A race?" Elizabeta nodded. "Yes, a race around the school blocks."

"And whoever wins, will keep the camera." Stood in front of Nesia.

Edward gulped, and thought. _Around the school blocks!? Is she mad or something?!_

"Don't worry, Edward. It's a team race." She reassured him. "Oh…"

"But all of the racers will start at the starting line at the same time, so no tag team playing."

"WHAT?! Dammit!"

"People, we are _trying_ to have a meeting, in here." Arthur said, but was ignored by the others, again.

"So are you in…" Elizabeta smirked, putting her hand in front of him. "Or not?"

Looking at her hand, the golden haired boy gave her his signature _ear-to-ear_ grin, shaking the hand.

"I'm in."

**=o0o=**

No one might notice, but Arthur was suckling in the corner. Getting depressed because he was ignored by the others. Just like someone we know. *looks at Matthew*

_Poor_ Arthur.

* * *

**AN: Weird huh? Well, this was supposed to be a **_**one-shot**_**, but since it's **_**too long**_** for me to write, I'll make it a **_**two**_** or **_**three-shots**_**. I must apologize if this fic did **_**not**_** qualify your taste in Fanfiction (just sayin'), but still, I'm new to this, aren't I?**

**RN'R! Because they ARE my fuel for writing!**

**Random fact(s) and/or translation(s):**

**(1) The name 'Hetamist Academy'.**

**- It's just something random came up from my mind, when I was writing this fic. And a mix-up between 'Hetalia' and 'Alchemist'. Random right?**

**(2) Nesia Puspa Bahari, the female Indonesia personification.**

**- Ah this one is an OC (but still, Nesia is a common name in the HIF (Hetalia Indonesian Fandom), so yeah.), the first name is from many references of HIF, while the last name, or 'family name' if you preferred, is just a random thing. Since Puspa means in **_**flower**_** English, and Bahari means **_**nautical**_** in English. (I must apologize for the grammar, since I used Google Translate.)**

**(3) Garuda Wisnu Kencana, the male Indonesia personification.**

**- This one is **_**also**_** an OC. Many in HIF fics, that Indonesia has a twin personification, a female and a male, so I use them as a reference. Garuda Wisnu Kencana is based on the name of the red parrot figurine on Indonesia's float in "America's New Year's Celebration" parade in America and was awarded with the "President's Trophy". And they said, that Indonesia will also joining the next year's parade with a Solo Batik Carnival. Can't wait! ^^**

**(4) **_**Abang**_**.**

**- It means, **_**older brother**_** in English. And commonly used in the Java Island, by Javanese people. (Indonesia)**

**(5) Claus van Gogh, Netherlands' personification.**

**- Since Netherlands has already had a character, but no human name, I decided to make one. I got the idea of **_**Claus**_**, when I read the 4****th**** volume of the Hetalia web comic from **_**Hetarchive Scanlations**_**, I forgot in which track but it's on all about Netherlands. I think at the bottom, when Belgium asks Netherlands (as her brother, of course) if Santa Claus could come to their house, and he said yes. More over, Netherlands brings (reads: kidnaps) the Santa Claus (aka Spain in a Santa costume) while wearing a reindeer costume. (LOL!)**

**And the **_**family name**_**, **_**van Gogh**_**, is based on the famous Dutch painter in the 18****th**** Century, Vincent van Gogh.**

**(6) **_**Boku mo!**_

**- Literally means, **_**me too!**_** (Japanese)**

**(7) Fujoudanshi, the Hetamist Academy's **_**Fujoushi**_** and **_**Fudanshi**_** club.**

**- I give **_**all**_** the credit to **_**Rheyna Rosevelt**_**, from her **_**Vampire Saga**_** fic. Mind you, it is an Indonesian fic.**

**(8) I'm still wondering if Gilbert should be a **_**German**_**, or a **_**Prussian**_**. But **_**what the Hell**_**, he's still a **_**Prussian**_** in everyone's heart. :3**

**(9) **_**Estoy de acuerdo, y mi cabeza está un poco herido en este momento debido a que ...**_

**- **_**I agree, and my head is a bit hurt right now because of that…**_** (Spanish)**

**(10) **_**Ne me deranger pas, mademoiselle Maru!**_

**- **_**Do not disturb me, Miss Maru!**_** (French)**

**(11) **_**Je ne parle pas l'Anglais, mon ami.**_

**- **_**I do not speak English, my friend.**_** (Roughly translated. -,-") (French)**

**(13) **_**Was ist es dismal, Feliciano?**_

**- **_**What is it this time, Feliciano?**_** (German)**

* * *

[Edited 13.12.2012]

**AN: Sorry for editing this now! Exams took most of my time, and I'm done! For those who _might_ noticed, I changed the Male!Indonesia from Rangga Prabu Kusuma to Garuda Wisnu Kencana. Sorry from my rantings everyone. *bows in regret***


End file.
